Sharp-sighted Sleuth T-Shirts

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Experts through the ages.

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Optician and the PI.

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

"Looks like some kind of laser beam. No sign of the murder weapon."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

The Manipulation of Justice

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

'Well she came out of nowhere! It all happened in slow motion!'

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

'Take your time. Do any of these look like the shadowy figure you saw at the crime scene?'

'Ugh. Every single day.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

Sherlock Holmes

'..but at the end of the day it was just my word against the DNA.'

Sherlock Holmes.

Six Degrees of Depradation

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"