Shark Behavior Gifts

'Dude, they're starting to get really close to shore.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Why do they do that?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Beach con-man.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Bite out of fishing pier.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Horror movies

Romantic Giraffes

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Dog Nightmares

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'