Shareholder's Meeting Gifts

"We can only distract the shareholders with our ugly Christmas sweaters for so long."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Hanson - committee of four.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'