Shareholders Gifts

Shareholder's Meetings

"I'm Only here for the beer!"

Byers 'resigns'; sacrificed to press and shareholders.

Carrying an applause sign to the Shareholder's Meeting

'TransUniverse is on the way to recovery and global exploitation.'

'It's not a spitoon. It's for scruples.'

"The deal has fallen through and the shareholders are looking for a sacrificial lamb."

"...And the good news is that we only lost two billion dollars last year!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'All we can do is remind the stockholders that money isn't everything.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

"Still, I think we can all take some pride in being one of the signature bankruptcies of our time."