Shared Earnings Gifts

'Marriage is sharing, Carol, so I'm happy you earn twice as much as me.'

The day the stock market went UP.

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Let's Celebrate

Office meeting

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

High Five

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

Shareholder's Meetings

Stock Exchange.

"My favorite time of year is earnings season."

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"Of course we should get equal pay, it's time men realised we're just as greedy as they are."

'It's not a spitoon. It's for scruples.'

'That's the trouble with these Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

"I did share! I gave Dougie all my melted candy."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

'Now that we're married, I thought I should be less selfish. Here, take the TV remote while I get a snack.'

Sharing Company Profits

'You're a two-faced, back stabbing, bootlicker who wouldn't hesitate to sell his own Mother for profit, Penderton. If only we had more like you.'

"The stockholders may view layoffs as a positive step in firming up our bottom line, but what happens when they find out we aren't producing anything?"

"...And the good news is that we only lost two billion dollars last year!"

"The deal has fallen through and the shareholders are looking for a sacrificial lamb."

'A successful man is one who earns more than his wife could spend...' - 'A successful woman spends it anyway.'

A boy wanting another boy to share an oyster