Shamrock Scholar Gifts

Shamrock refers to young springs of clover or trefoil, the sacred plant to the druids of Ireland...

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

"Young Montague's full of himself."

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"She's always been a quick learner."

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

"Along with 'Antimatter,' and 'Dark Matter,' we've recently discovered the existence of 'Doesn't Matter,' which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever."

'Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?'

Happy St Patrick's Day

Happy Birthday

'After the wizard gave me the brain,of course, I felt like I should use it.'

A scathing stream of invective, wending its way, inevitably, to the sea.

'Are they called 'pyramids' because the Pharaoh used a pyramid scheme to finance them?'

Some say this glass is half empty. Others say the glass is half full. . . If you're Irish you say. . . are you going to finish that?

"I'm part Irish on my mother's side."

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

"Hi, do you have a moment to discuss annoying people who stop you in the street?"

"And that explains 'non-fungible tokens'."

Shopping in Hell We don't take credit cards..

'This qualifies you to make educated guesses.'

"I never knew leprechauns made good accountants."

'Help! As a contrarian I invested in rotary and supersized phones.'

"I'm thinking of buying a peerage with the money from my second job."

"I'm part Irish on my mother's side."

"I was on the cutting edge, but I got too many paper cuts, so I quit."

'Students excuses through out the ages.' A cave kid says, 'My dinosaur ate my homework,' a 1950s kid says, 'My dog ate my homework,' and a kid today says, 'My computer ate my homework.'

August to December 1998

"If they insist we dumb-down the classes, I suggest we award them a dumbed-down diploma."

Happy St. Patrick's Day House

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.