Shag Carpet Fan Gifts

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

"You must be new around here, pardner."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"I love to watch cat videos on the internet!"

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

Let the good times roll.

"You've got some beard in your food."

Flying carpet

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'Wh..? Hey, get hold of yourself, you've been flying ever since you were hatched!'

A man with a unibrow sneezes and the unibrow becomes his moustache.

"Push, push, push! There's always one that wants to be the first in line!"

'Guess who made it through the winter?'

Beware of over-exuberant dog.

Celebrity Gold