Sexual Reproduction Guru Gifts

"Are we there yet?"

DNA Analysis.

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'ADN'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

Medical Lab. Ernie, we call it a "paternity test," not a "pop quiz."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

"Marriage and relationships?...That would be under 'Arts and Science'!"

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

Profits from gene patenting.

Happy Face Grows Third Eye.

Snakecharming.

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

"You won't see a more naturally gifted skater."

Scientific reaction to the news of declining sperm counts was mixed.

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

"We're isolating the obesity gene, but only to make fun of it."

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

'Okay - is there anybody ElSE whose homework ate their dog?'

"Your wife is in overly critical condition."

"Right then......... in your own time."

"Dad, what did you do in the war against GM foods?"

'He's the father of the entire first row.'

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

"I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

Ringing the Doorbell

'The DNA results indicate that your son will be handsome, clever and will die in a freak trampoline accident.'