Sexual Health Counselor Gifts

WHO checklist

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't spark joy."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"You've changed."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

James decided to stay in that night.

"Tell me more about your 'and then it hit me' moment, Mr. Pinata."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"