Sex Therapist Gifts

'Sex is good!'

Safe sex.

Couple in bed with woman running towards them - 'Let me through I'm a Sex Therapist...'

"Okay, up there, let's give 'er another try."

"My wife couldn't come.She's got a headache."

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

'I had my husband laminated. I thought it might make him last longer.'

"Do you ever entertain lewd thoughts?"

'I had my husband laminated. I thought it might make him last longer.'

'I think I'm frigid.'

'Even my inflatable dolls have headaches!'

'How can she tell that in only three minutes?'

'Do you ever watch your wife's face while you're making love?'

I'He used to star in porno films. Now he can only get aroused if he has an audience.'

"Right then......... in your own time."

"The only time I have fun in bed is when he gets cramp."

"Slow and steady wins the race..."

In and out, in and out, in and out...

'Sure, I fantasize when I make love - I pretend I'M someone else.'

What a nightmare! I was Kinsley and you were Buchanan!

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Sex therapy clinic

'Mrs. Tilley, the responsible thing to do is trace the origin of your STD. Now does your boyfriend work in a home or a public park?'

"You know how to please, but not to love."

"We have a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal."

"Yes, Mr. Hargraves, thumb-sucking can be cured. But first let's talk about what your other hand is doing."

"First of all, we need to push the beds together."

Sex therapist...

"I should warn you that I charge £100 an hour."

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

'My husband is always complaining that I dress too provocatively.'

'Every time I'm aroused that happens!'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"I feel I should tell you. I practice very dull sex."

'Welcome to sex addicts anonymous. It appears that we are missing a chair so who would like me to sit on their lap?'