Sexual Harassment Officer Gifts

"I'm sorry, you're very faint. Could you pant a bit louder please?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Panama Papers Scandal

Cafe Burns.

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

AI Safety Officer

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Office Ergonomics.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."