Sex Positivity Enthusiast Gifts

Medals on the Bed/"I suppose this means you're good in bed."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Privates Beach"

Critisize your weight.

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Breast Height Chart

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

The Death of the Blues

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Aging Problems

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Girl's weight issues.

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'