Sex Positivity Enthusiast Gifts

Medals on the Bed/"I suppose this means you're good in bed."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Privates Beach"

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Breast Height Chart

The Death of the Blues

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Aging Problems

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Fat fairy

Girl's weight issues.