Sex Positivity Gifts

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Critisize your weight.

"Privates Beach"

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Breast Height Chart

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Congratulations on the new you!

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

Aging Problems

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'