Sex Positions Gifts

'See - I told you so.'

"Now there's a relationship that's working!"

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'You may now kick the bride.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

Corporate Punishment.

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

Gender Symbols

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

Work From Home Power Suit

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

"Can we switch seats? I don't like sitting with my back to the door."

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."