Sex Expert T-Shirts

"You're a certified sexpert? I'm a certified sexpert, too!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Call me?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Your place or mine?'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Boyfriend of the Month.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"The etchings are in the library."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

The Stages of Wine

Tartar sauce.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Sharing Drinks.

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

In and out, in and out, in and out...

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

'This is me at my most masculine.'

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

A Discreet Hint.

"Here's a guy who has women falling over him."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"He hasn't got much chance with her. She just told me to get lost, and I'm her husband!"