Sex Expert T-Shirts

"You're a certified sexpert? I'm a certified sexpert, too!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Call me?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

Tartar sauce.

The Stages of Wine

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"The etchings are in the library."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

'That guy is SO tacky.'

In and out, in and out, in and out...

Sharing Drinks.

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

'This is me at my most masculine.'

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

A Discreet Hint.

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"He hasn't got much chance with her. She just told me to get lost, and I'm her husband!"

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"