Love Life Expert T-Shirts

'Men never appreciate what's at stake in a relationship.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"Just tell us who's winning."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"All parents fight."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"