Severance Sympathizer Gifts

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

International Women's Day

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

"Won't your boss miss you?"

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

'Flamin' tourists...'

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Scary Slug Stories

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

Snail to Slug.

"Stop doggin' it!"

"Bloody satellites..!"

"What makes him a wine snob? He's been talking about the cork for 45 minutes and he thinks we're still listening."

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

Women History Month

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

Close encounter.

Labor day has union written all over it!"

"Look, Baldo! Whatever happens, we need to stick together!"

"Look, honey! All your lost eye glasses have mysteriously migrated to this drawer, and now they're plotting their next escape."

He's a rebel without a cause.

Bloomerism - An American Custom