Settling In Gifts

A mover is told to put the fire in the fireplace.

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"You've changed."

Cat Towels

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Layer cake

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Love is when you watch television together.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

Pyjama party

"You're hogging the covers again!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Bed Seasons

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Love is when you watch television together.

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."