Setting Up A Guest Room Pillows

We're looking for something small and uncomfortable...it's for the guest room.

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Now we've had our loft changed into a bedroom, the vicar's preaching to the converted.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'Mom, I no longer need a night light.'

Mattress sale

"I found your scissors, Tia Carmen."

"Fascinating. He ran on it the first few days, but now he's just using it to hang his clothes."

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

Bathroom Fashion

"We must work hard to preserve the natural habitat of all Earth's creatures."

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

"Ralphie sold me his car alarm."

"Do you have anything a little firmer?"

"My son wanted his own room."

"Guess which one's here for the hemorrhoid treatment."

Punchline: Another weekend ruined by an unexpected houseguest.

"I keep this room empty to incite envy."

"I got a call about some overstaying guests."

"It's only for a week. You know that you and mother don't like to sleep three in a bed!"