Session Savant Pillows

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

TV-Man

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

All the apps hidden within a phone

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Binge Watch

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

The Plasmas.

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

Piggy Bank ATM

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

The Adventures of Grammar Man

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

Mind control

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"Sorry I'm late. I forgot the PIN number I need to get my brain going."

"Cool game!"

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

"You think they all look like security risks."

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'