Service Station Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Relieved Micturater' next to a 'Happy Eater'.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Nap time."

DIY Butchers

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Fast Food Restaurant

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Crazy Ideas

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"Thanks for waiting."

"If you seek the bathroom key, answer first these riddles three."

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

'I never get tipped!'

Complaints department

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

Git It 'N' Git

Butler and Page Boy

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

"We're out of tuna fish, but the kid in table six said you can have a bite of his tuna sandwich."

The Mighty Hoover Dam.

'Are you out of your mind - can't you see I'm buying gas.'

All charged up and nowhere to go.

"Opening a restaurant, eh? What kind?" "Self-service."