Service Station Strategist T-Shirts

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"Nap time."

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'Darling - are you finding these waiters rather over-attentive?'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

"Dad said they'd sell like hotcakes, but they're selling like vegetables."

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

'And remember, no layaways, personal checks or terrorizing the villagers.'

'The new automated system was a bit of a disaster!'

Git It 'N' Git

"Light's green."

'...Send again doesn't look like they got it.'

'Give them a motorway ad they'll follow it anywhere!'

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

'You'll have to take your hybrid somewhere else. We only service real cars here.'

Art by committee

"In the interests of fairness, I'm required to disclose that I'm comission driven."

Directions to the nearest decent motorway services.

"Your estimated arrival time is 6:38. . . but you won't find parking until 7:04."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to get a longer cable?"