Service Industry Jester Gifts

Ring for Service

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Waiter!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

"I read that 40% of us have to take a second job just to make ends meet...It's a disgrace!"

'No, I'm not wearing high heels. I look taller because the minimum wage will increase and now I can stand taller.'

Too rare perhaps?

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"