Service Comparison Lover Pillows

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"We emphasize personal service. Our broker-client ratio is three to one."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

Couple Waiting for Service

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"Thanks for waiting."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"I'm not saying the lamb is good, but nobody's complained about it yet."

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

Psychic Dating Hotline

Therapy - mobile.

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

Friendly bank/Formal bank.

Maid.

Cut out and keep your own Butler.

"Typical. They're happy to benefit from our service but just try and come in as a customer."

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

Patience.

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

"There's not much Gordon won't do for his clients!"

Internet Banking

"Yes Mr Wilkins, we do provide a comprehensive 24 hours service but I'm afraid that doesn't include a cashpoint facility."

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

"I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent."

'I want to complain to the manager.' - 'Sorry sir, he's out at lunch.'

Information. 2nd. Opinion.