Service Station Lover Pillows

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Nap time."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"Thanks for waiting."

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Therapy - mobile.

"If you seek the bathroom key, answer first these riddles three."

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'I never get tipped!'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

"Typical. They're happy to benefit from our service but just try and come in as a customer."

Maid.

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

"We're out of tuna fish, but the kid in table six said you can have a bite of his tuna sandwich."

'Are you out of your mind - can't you see I'm buying gas.'

All charged up and nowhere to go.

Git It 'N' Git

"Yes Mr Wilkins, we do provide a comprehensive 24 hours service but I'm afraid that doesn't include a cashpoint facility."

'We must improve our level of service.'

'You'll have to take your hybrid somewhere else. We only service real cars here.'

"I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent."

'I want to complain to the manager.' - 'Sorry sir, he's out at lunch.'

Information. 2nd. Opinion.

"I've added eighteen percent to your bill because it's more than fifteen percent."