Sermon Socialite Gifts

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

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"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'