Sermon Snoozers Pillows

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Attendance is always down the Sunday after Father's Day. They all get fishing gear."

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"You're lucky you don't like worms. You get to sleep in."

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

'He's started jogging to work.'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

Good luck with all the revision!!!

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

Cats don't like to let the people that they live with have a lie-in.

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

REALLY boring sermons