Sermon Snoozer Pillows

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'And then it happened. Halfway through your sermon, my insomnia was miraculously cured!'

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

After a long discussion, Rev. Smith went along with the worship service count-down clock but not until after the congregation agreed to the wake-up blast horn!

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'If I wouldn't have yelled fire, he'd still be talking.'

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested... slept through the sermon.'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

"I really envy my left foot...it slept through his entire sermon!"

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

"Oh, wow! 4:30!! I slept all day again!"

"Attendance is always down the Sunday after Father's Day. They all get fishing gear."

"You're lucky you don't like worms. You get to sleep in."

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

'Shouldn't I be home in bed or something?'

Good luck with all the revision!!!

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'