Serial Dealmaker Gifts

"Harold, it's another door to door salesman."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

"I always cry at mergers."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'Nobody gets to the point quicker than Ron!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

"The usual day. We took over somebody, then somebody took us over."

Hostile take-over.

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

'Lots of give and take in that negotiation...they took and we gave.'

"Beans! I got a bag of magic beans!"

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

'Don't waste too much time in Congress, son. You've got a really great future as a lobbyist!'

'Don't bother with dinner, dear. I just gobbled up two corporations and ate my secretary alive.'

'I didn't know he was also into corporate mergers!'

"Oh, stop flexing, Dinsdale, get you lawyers and let's deal."