Sergeants Pillows

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

Military Drill

'We're over quota for medals right now, Sargent, but here's a smiley-face sticker for you.'

Guess who's going to be a sergeant major when he grows up?

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'At ease, soldier.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Yes ... no!"

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"Lemming Boot Camp"

Verbal Orders

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'...and this is the Mess.'

Saying Grace.

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

'...and do you take this pre-nup...?'

Banting in the Yeomanry

Stret boy making a comment about a military man

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"And a hef pond good sirloin for my boy, Sergeant Koppleman."

Kit makes an appointment

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'