Serene Snackers T-Shirts

A meditator begins to crave cake.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Is the MSG local?"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Fresh pepper?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

"I'd like the view better if I hadn't forgot my bleeper"

Meditation Munchies

Supermarket Aisles.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

'I just love eating organic food.'

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"The only thing healthy in this corporate culture is the yogurt in that snack machine."

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

Consumer Therapy

"Sorry I'm late - I got caught in another avalanche."

"Gracie, you can't leave Animal Crackers all over the place!"

Can I use your wi-fi? Of course. Did you buy something? In a manner of speaking. I bought a Snickers bar last month at the 7-11 over in Candorville. So I'm basically a paying customer. I'm not following. My money went to pay the clerk's salary. A few days later, that clerk bought a magazine at a newsstand. The proprietor of the newsstand later used that money when he went to a massage parlor. He tipped the masseuse $65. The masseuse later took a bus to our town, where she bought a latter in this

'This chocolate bar is full of fruit and nuts.'

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

And so begins another evening of serious hobnobbing