Sense Of Purpose Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We look for someone willing to work for a higher sense of purpose since we can't offer money.'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

"Very funny."

"What do you love best about me. . . my handsome face or my sexy body?"

"I want you to leave here today with a message of joy!..."

"I said it was time to send in the DRAGOONS!"

'Last chance to give for next 400 yards.'

Doing business in the same location since the dawn of time.

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

What's in a Terrorist Name?

Next Terrifying Military Threats

Bob Found A Different Yardstick For Success And he Felt Swell

How's my blitzkrieging?

"I've been thinking...why do you like me?"

"It appears to have all the physical properties of a normal plant. . . Hello - what's this?"

On the Brink of War with Russia-British Fleet Despatched

Another Shooting

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Alright, settle down! Settle down!"

'I'm not tall/dark/handsome/personable/witty...but I'm rich as hell!'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"Careful boys! I think we just stumbled into a mimefield..."

A beaver with his false teeth in a glass.