Senior Traveler T-Shirts

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

The experienced backpacker.

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Cats on Board.

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Commuter on the Orient Express

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'

"Next year, let's go someplace where the locals resent the tourists in a language we don't understand."

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

Bargeman on a canal boat.

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'We'd like to go to a country that doesn't have tsunamis.'

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

Private Jet

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."

Private Jet

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

'Then put me on the No-Fly list if you can't put me in first class!'

Woman having tea in a train carriage