Senior Relatives Pillows

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

Tripping the light... "Fantastic!"

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Children's Party

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Speed Dating.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Nothin' beats a wild block party.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Stockwell's day

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."