Senior Pet Advocate Gifts

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

The Golfing Accident

dog vs UFO...

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

Zoo: No Hunting.

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."