Domestic Animal Advocate Gifts

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Support group for sheep.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"I have no thumbs."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Golfing Accident

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

dog vs UFO...

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."