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"Darling, have you seen my antidepressants?"

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

Important balloons, $30.

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Don't patronize me. Nobody cares what I think anymore. Go ask Dr. Phil."

'What's the special?'

'It's an electronic pipe and heated slippers...he's a thoroughly modern old fart.'

'The firm provides every new executive with a personal trainer.'

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

'He glued himself to the floor again.'

"I need to find out if I'm working to live or just living to work. Pull together the numbers that make sense out of it all."

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

Feel good.

Rambler encounters an existential signpost.

"I have to keep a lot of handwritten notes. Every mental note I make is in invisible ink."