Senior Job Seeker T-Shirts

"Congratulations as you start your first day with us, and the beginning of a new . . . ah. . . career."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Career opportunities

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How are you at decision making?

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"I don't like your application."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

In and Out Sourced.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.