Senior Job Seeker Pillows

"Congratulations as you start your first day with us, and the beginning of a new . . . ah. . . career."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Career opportunities

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

How are you at decision making?

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Between Offices

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

"I don't like your application."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

In and Out Sourced.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for