Aspiring Job Seeker T-Shirts

'I'm looking for something in the 'being unemployed' sector.'

'... And you say that this would be your dream job?... Well, with a CV like this I think you'd better wake up!'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I don't like your application."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

In and Out Sourced.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'