Senior In Denial Pillows

"Will you still offer the seniors discount to someone who won't admit they're a senior?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Senior Jeopardy!

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Compact Disc: "01011100110001011011010001111...."

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

When Animals Grow Old...

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

'As usual, tech support is busy.'

Grandma's remote explained

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

"Did you tune the clock radio to a rock station again?"

'You'll have to excuse all the newspaper. My grandfather refuses to wear adult diapers.'

'You're howling off key again!'

'Why do I always lose at this interactive television fishing show!'

'I quit my job because I'm coming into money. Yep, I'm 4-6 weeks away from several rebate checks arriving.'

Old dog with zimmer frame.

"Second wave? Don't be daft son!"

Pensioner and Graffiti

'Dog alerts pedestrians to old woman in mobility cart.'

'You may have misunderstood about Yompville being a country club prison.'

Coming Sooner Than You Think.