Techie In Denial Pillows

'Before we begin I need to inform you that the computers in this row are not working and some of the passwords are not being accepted by all the computers.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'

'Here's a picture of my mom before Photoshop!'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"I'm sure he is a good guide dog, but there is such a thing as a GPS."

"Other than going ahead and back an hour at daylight savings, professor, can your time machine travel to any other period in time?"