Reluctant Techie Pillows

Obscenity-recognition software. It's for people who hate computers, but have to use them.

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"A watched file never loads..."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

"My art speaks for itself."

In case of computer breakdown break glass

Social Media Traps

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

"I can catch up with all the chores my wife wants done over the Labor Day weekend."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

We're actually looking for someone who just wants to get out of the house.

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

Knowing that he was holding yesterday's 7 million lottery ticket,,,

"If this piece of paper lands in that trash basket, I'll quit teaching, move to the country, write my novel, and never grade another math quiz ever again." "Let's see, six right, four wrong..."

'The good news is, I've got no more trouble with my stupid boss and grumbling customers. The bad news is, our company is insolvent and I'm jobless.'

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'