Senior Detection Agency Member Gifts

"This says you're only 54. We need to cart you down to the rec center for questioning."

The Anti-Agent

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Violent Crime Statistics

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

CCTV in church.

"Eureka! Details to follow."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

'It looks like our data.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"