Senior Care Pillows

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

Hearing Aid Repair Shop: 'Number one. . . number one. . . number one. . .'

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

'It's your turn in a minute!'

'I had a larger sample for you but I had trouble getting the lid back on. . .'

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

AARP prune break.

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."