Senate Simulator Gifts

'I have really gotten into this Roman History course.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

The following is a paid political announcement.

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Upon graduation, all of the clowns would gather to find out where their assignments would be.

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'I know I can't take it with me, but what about computer simulations?'

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'

Beware of the Legislation

"What's your position on the Strait of Hormuz?"