Seminar Survivalist Gifts

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'Arf! Arf!'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Prepper Dog

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Island and man

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

Early detection was rarely helpful.

"I really hate sales meetings"

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."