Semaphore Sender Gifts

Semaphore Problems

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

I can't smile without you...

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

"On your left."

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

Post early for Christmas 2010.

'Do keep the comments coming, this one is from Will the Miller from Marlow Bottom. . .'

"Along with the invitations, announcements, and save-the-date cards, I'd like some 'I told you so' cards for people who thought I'd never get married."

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

Studies show that for every hour of time-zone shift, it takes three days to fully reestablish your circadian rhythm. Can't do the math? Here are some handy clues you may have jet-lag!

The Post Office Is... Forever

'If they install word recognition software in my texting program, I wouldn't have to know how to spell or read. Ain't technology great?'

'Between us we've got 2000 Facebook friends, but we only know one person well enough to send us a Christmas card.'

Christmas postie!

'I hate doing Christmas cards!'

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

'Don't forget your p.s.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

I have 1035 Facebook friends. Do I have to send each one a holiday card?

'If the Lord knows each time a sparrow falls to earth, it seems like a Minister of the Gospel could at least remember to mail a few Christmas cards.'

Fax Communications - Bicycle Messengers

I don't need a cell phone...I'm going to text message you in the alphabet soup!

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'