Self-taught Whiz Pillows

'School of hard knocks.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Quick, press control Z!'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'It's amazing - He can't even tell time, yet he can program the VCR.'

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

'So far he's self-taught but we thought it time to engage a regular teacher.'

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"We need a miracle. Who runs that department?"

"I can't remember if I took my smart pill."

life route

"Miss Peterson, may I go home? I can't assimilate any more data today."

"...first, let's just figure out an adjustmetn to my allowance..."

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

When I start my own Internet company I'll hire people to solve problems like that.

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"Ambitions... to be more ambitious in future."

"The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that converts hindsite into foresight."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

Shape up

'I was able to program the VCR, so now dad wants me to assemble his new barbecue.'

"I've already spent a fortune on mobile devices for her. I guess the days of kids playing with pots and pans are over."

"Is it your intention to seethe for the next four years?"

'I make a great business consultant because I'm too smart to have a business of my own.'

"Here it is, world! Extra-terrestrial intelligence! Me!"