Self-taught Scholar Pillows

'I don't have much formal education, but I've googled a lot of things.'

The Bookworm

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Playdough's The Republic

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'School of hard knocks.'

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

The Giamatti era

"Finally...school starts next week."

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"I was master of all I surveyed... then they hit me with second grade."

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."